Dressings of Expression

In a daze, staring at naked paper once again.
Wanting to clothe it with emotions, tailored in black ink.
Scatter brained, I cannot make my thoughts coincide.

You approach the entryway of my mind and situate yourself on the outside.
You will not get through the barriers I have built for the past ten years.
Never again will my heart control my mind when your fatherless essence draws near.
My hand will not play translator for the two any longer.

Still I sit with a blank gaze, tying to pour out feelings trapped within me.
Why am I incapable of smothering a lifeless tree with meaningful expression?
Empty headed, I reach for a time when I was entirely content with life.

Days of being young and naive come back to me.
Games our juvenile minds' created to fill the sunlight hours.
We imagined growing up together and staying friends forever.
Children are so innocently simplistic, they believe in only the best of everything.

My eyes fall out of focus as the words begin to dance in a murky haze.
Delusion creates a harmonious piece of work, yet its ambiance is vacant.
I cannot set my sight on any one particular notion.

Thoughts of the one gone astray and various heartaches flash before my heavy eyes.
I would take my last breath to consume the sensations of love once again.
I come by only those who inflict pain and hide behind false faces.
All the pain has weathered, yet still I weep in waiting for the one I cannot find.

Exhausted now, concentration slips through the grasp of my feeble fist.
Hours of darkness hush as daybreak screams out for me to pursue slumber.
My frustration subsides...just as adequately as this canvas is dressed...I can rest.

Just Another Body

Awake now, I lie in daylight darkness.
Anger thumps inside my head.
Sadness slashes the back of my eyelids.
My icy cheek kisses the sorrow upon my pillow.
Swollen eyed, my vision is cloudy.
Drenched tissues clasped between my fingers still.
The night's misery has all but suffocated me.
I am capable only of taking one airless breath after another.

I refuse to let myself endure this nonsense any longer.
I sit up in bed, take a deep breath and wipe the black from under my eyes.
There is no definition between you and the others, please do not kid yourself.
You are just another body to toss aside with those who have deceived me.
Beaten down by your selfishness without warning, even so, I will not welcome defeat.
I will find all that I deserve as you ponder the mindless lies that rolled off your tongue.
Then reality will force regrets upon your lips as you long for all you have abandoned.
Smiles will light my face as you bask in the loneliness your idiocy has created.

Take With You, These Words

The last second has struck on the clock.
You are ready for life's next stepping block.

Where do I begin now that summer's end is here?
What do I say to a friend I hold so dear?

….The journey you are about to embark upon, may seem overwhelming at times.
Nevertheless, be strong, continue on and you will be just fine.

Grow, make yourself, and have a blast.
Be afraid not to move on, but to forget your past.

Make new friends, but do not forget the ones from which you part.
Hold each and every memory, old and new, close to your heart.

Remember your family, all the fun times and talks shared with friends.
Know that leaving does not mean any of this must come to an end.

Take heed in everything and anything that you do.
Yet, do not be afraid to try something new.

Experience life and all it has to offer to its boundless extent.
And never let anyone have control over your mind-set.

You are loved and cherished by so many for all that you have grown to be.
So, always remember that and never let anyone tell you differently….

Take with you these words of comfort and advice.
Consider them, but know that only your decisions will suffice.

No matter what is to come, when you need someone, I swear to always be there.
And every time you read this, let it be a reminder of just how much I care.

Serenity

Darling.
Come unto me.
Embrace me in your grasp.
Restrain my mind from wakefulness.
Poised dreams. 

Rare Chemisty

Our eyes meet, together our lips dance.

Instantaneously, words have less than a chance.

My body quivers with each and every kiss, so tender and slow.

The passion between us tends to naturally flow.

In every aspect, the rare chemistry we share overwhelms me.

I cannot help but to release my emotions physically.

Finally, I am free and fearless to love once again.

And with you I share myself, my affection and everything I have, my friend.

Look into my eyes and you will find it is not untrue.

I am more than head over heels in love with you. 

Goodbye Letter

Hello Father.
How are you?
Never-mind, I don't care.
I only have one reason for writing you today.
I am saying goodbye.
Yes, that's right.
I am done with you.
God knows I have waited for you.
Waited for you to call....
for you to make amends....
for you to keep a promise for once.
Well, I am saying goodbye to all of your lies....
to all of your false promises....
and to your lack of concern.
I will NOT cry even ONE more tear for you, I refuse.
I am tired of you jumping in and out of my life when it is convenient for YOU.
Don't bother.
Just leave me alone, completely.
Don't worry, I am doing just fine without you.
I have a step-dad that is twice the father than YOU have EVER been.
Oh, that's right, you NEVER worry about me anyway.
You will never know what you have done to me.
So sad.
The one man in the whole world that should love me endlessly, does not even care enough to call.
I have been hurt many, many times, but NO ONE has ever made me feel so unloved.
That's the ONE thing you ARE good at.
Thank God for Mom, without her, who knows where I would be now.
Do you know what is even sadder than that.
I cannot think of ONE good memory of you.
I swear, not one.
You have missed out on so much.
I have grown into a fine young women.
With no thanks to you of course.
I have tried various times to make amends with you, but you just do not care.
So now, I am writing YOU off.
This WILL BE the last time I acknowledge your existence.

Are you hurt now?
Are you crying?
Ha, I highly doubt it.
BUT, if you are...GOOD.
NOW, you feel HALF of what I have felt everyday of my life.
And NOW, I do not care.
Goodbye Pete.

P.S. Call Grandma. She cries on the phone every time we talk, because you don't call or visit her. It's bad enough you are a dead beat dad, but Grandma does not deserve to be treated the way you treat me. 

Vivid Emotions

Suddenly from somewhere out of the blue,
I realized everything I have ever wanted...is you.

Something in your eyes threw my heart into captivity.
Your gorgeous smile made my face light up brilliantly.

Gray thought of you evolved into vivid hues.
These emotions are completely undeniable and true.

My feelings for you keep growing stronger.
I can't handle your dismissal much longer.

Dark chocolate eyes, wish you would look my way.
Ruby stained lips, please ask me to stay. 

Dark Seas

Black loneliness.
Blue sleeplessness.

Drowning in twirling tides of the scarlet sea.
Holding my breath until the turn of an untried tide reaches me.

Biding my time in this solitary storm, until my feet reach the dry desert sands.
I long for days filled with ease to simply fall into my hands.

Over my shoulder, in front of my eyes...there is nowhere left to go.
Remaining steady, exactly where I am...this vicious sea just swallowed me whole. 

You

One thousand and ninety-five days, I lived for you.

Thousands and thousands of tears I cried for you.

At least a million smiles…I smiled because of you.

Emotions I didn't know I was capable of, shined through because of you.

My heart, my soul, my life…I gave to you.

I was indescribably in love with you.

I had to love enough for both myself and you.

Your heart wasn't open…deprived me of equal feelings from you.

Now I am finally over you.

And now I honestly feel what it's like to be loved by you. 

Daddy

A little girl stands, dressed in blue.

Searching for something true.

Still reaching out to you.



Digging through youthful memories

Attempting to find one that puts her heart at ease.

Disappointment is such a disastrous disease.



She finds herself with eyes of rain.

Not one memory of you, that doesn't cause pain.

Only your devious tongue remains.



A young lady now, that has matured tremendously.

For you, she feels only hostility.

Yet, this little girl lives inside of me, still longing for a daddy.