2:03 am

I am far beyond terrified....
to love again
to let someone in
to show, share, and devote myself
to fall blindly
to be brokenhearted.

I am far beyond terrified....
to never love again
to never find my someone
to let love pass me by
to never feel pure bliss
to grow old alone. 

Blue Eyes

Last night I picked up the phone to hear your voice on the other end.
Why bother now…our relationship has lost the ability to mend.

Are you starting to feel guilty? Do you want to make things right?
You said, "I'm sorry I missed Christmas sweetie. Things have been a little tight."

You said, "I promise this time I'll make it up to you, you'll see."
When will you see that all I really want is for you love me?

"How old are you now dear?" you ask when you should know.
You had to do it; you could not just leave well enough alone.

Yes father, today is my eighteenth birthday.
"Well the child support and health benefits will be ceased," you say.

Selfish man, you care nothing about me.
You love only yourself and your petty money.

Why bother? Why waste your time?
Always feeding me some bullshit line.

The tears wash the brown away...
What a way to say happy birthday.

Grandpa

I catch a glimpse of your beautiful smile, so kind.
I gaze into your omniscient eyes.
Your aged hands brush the hair from my face,
and welcome me with a gentle embrace.
The sent of your cologne fills the room,
bringing back every single memory I have of you.
With melancholy lips and misty eyes,
in my ear you whisper goodbye.
Wait grandpa! ...I love you! ...Please don't go.
I'm begging you, please, don't leave me here alone!
Come back! ...I miss you! ...I need you here by my side!
Why!? Why did you have to say goodbye!?


I awake in a bed full of tears.
It was all a dream; you've been gone for years.


(1913-1997)
R.I.P