Detest You

Ears of steel.
Eyes of fire.
Sewn limbs.
Unchained tongue.
Cryptic heart.
Brutal thoughts.
Crimson shadows.
Lie here.
Like me.
Feel it!
How is it?
Dead inside.
Yet still alive.
...You did this. 

Goodbye Letter

Hello Father.
How are you?
Never-mind, I don't care.
I only have one reason for writing you today.
I am saying goodbye.
Yes, that's right.
I am done with you.
God knows I have waited for you.
Waited for you to call....
for you to make amends....
for you to keep a promise for once.
Well, I am saying goodbye to all of your lies....
to all of your false promises....
and to your lack of concern.
I will NOT cry even ONE more tear for you, I refuse.
I am tired of you jumping in and out of my life when it is convenient for YOU.
Don't bother.
Just leave me alone, completely.
Don't worry, I am doing just fine without you.
I have a step-dad that is twice the father than YOU have EVER been.
Oh, that's right, you NEVER worry about me anyway.
You will never know what you have done to me.
So sad.
The one man in the whole world that should love me endlessly, does not even care enough to call.
I have been hurt many, many times, but NO ONE has ever made me feel so unloved.
That's the ONE thing you ARE good at.
Thank God for Mom, without her, who knows where I would be now.
Do you know what is even sadder than that.
I cannot think of ONE good memory of you.
I swear, not one.
You have missed out on so much.
I have grown into a fine young women.
With no thanks to you of course.
I have tried various times to make amends with you, but you just do not care.
So now, I am writing YOU off.
This WILL BE the last time I acknowledge your existence.

Are you hurt now?
Are you crying?
Ha, I highly doubt it.
BUT, if you are...GOOD.
NOW, you feel HALF of what I have felt everyday of my life.
And NOW, I do not care.
Goodbye Pete.

P.S. Call Grandma. She cries on the phone every time we talk, because you don't call or visit her. It's bad enough you are a dead beat dad, but Grandma does not deserve to be treated the way you treat me. 

Daddy

A little girl stands, dressed in blue.

Searching for something true.

Still reaching out to you.



Digging through youthful memories

Attempting to find one that puts her heart at ease.

Disappointment is such a disastrous disease.



She finds herself with eyes of rain.

Not one memory of you, that doesn't cause pain.

Only your devious tongue remains.



A young lady now, that has matured tremendously.

For you, she feels only hostility.

Yet, this little girl lives inside of me, still longing for a daddy. 

Bonded by Blood

I look in the mirror and despise what I see.
I hate possessing a part of you inside of me.

I taught myself how to ride the bike with two wheels.
Mom taught me the manners of eating meals.

Countless amounts of birthdays and holidays...not a thing from you.
I don't get my hopes up anymore, it's all unfulfilled promises...what's new?

My high school graduation...you weren't even there.
The telephone didn't ring, you didn't care.

One day, you will regret the pain and suffering you put me though.
Someday, you will see that I am the person I am with no thanks to you.

That day will come when someone else walks me down the isle.
Or maybe when you miss the birth of your first grandchild.

Either way, you will regret having no relationship with your own daughter.
I've grown weary of your ways, though bonded by blood, you are not my father. 

Blue Eyes

Last night I picked up the phone to hear your voice on the other end.
Why bother now…our relationship has lost the ability to mend.

Are you starting to feel guilty? Do you want to make things right?
You said, "I'm sorry I missed Christmas sweetie. Things have been a little tight."

You said, "I promise this time I'll make it up to you, you'll see."
When will you see that all I really want is for you love me?

"How old are you now dear?" you ask when you should know.
You had to do it; you could not just leave well enough alone.

Yes father, today is my eighteenth birthday.
"Well the child support and health benefits will be ceased," you say.

Selfish man, you care nothing about me.
You love only yourself and your petty money.

Why bother? Why waste your time?
Always feeding me some bullshit line.

The tears wash the brown away...
What a way to say happy birthday.