Comedown Cravings

Needle to the vein
No, please, not again
I don’t want be a junkie
That last dose you gave me
Spun me, just a little too roughly
Got a bad case…so bad I’m shaking…
A bad case of the comedown cravings
So I start trading
One addiction for the next
No time to rest
Have to break free…
Free from the drug imprisoning me
Free from the users
The enablers and abusers
Erase all the places
We’d go to get high
Erase all the faces
That know our lie
Euphoria in your eyes
When I decided to “try”
My skin has thinned
Aged with each binge
That blank stare of misery
Through your eyes
Here lies our reality
Junkies, aren’t we?
Detox is the only way
With or without you I’m afraid
Klonopin kisses just to get by
Taper the dose and try not to fly
When I was sober, I wished I was high
When I was sober I lived a different lie
When I was sober I was beaten for years
He beat me so badly, I ran out of tears
I wish I could save you…I really do
I can’t be your rock, when I’m broken too
…I can barely save myself from you

Diseased

Rancid tastes overtake every inlet of my mouth.
The grotesque has a way of provoking saliva to thicken.
Dripping...dripping.
My god, I can taste him.
My throat dry; as if liquids haven't neared my lips in days.
Parasites infesting shrouds upon shrouds of flesh.
Absent.
Dormant.
Present...again.
Limbs grow numb.
My core begins to decay.
Cancerous kisses drink dry brittle bones.
Lying lips deliver deceit, curing qualms.
He it The Unforgiven.
He is the Devil's blood.
My feel-good scapegoat.
My deadliest sin.
It's time, this must end.
Grief stricken tears of insanity cloud my vision.
And scarlet droplets grace my face in his place. 

In Dreams

The candle's light dances with night's shadow.
Souls reach beyond common grounds, swallowing defenses.
Your mind rests in tranquility; unarmed and unaware.
In the glow, you lean in close.
Nearing your ear to my lips, this is my chance.
I sneak inside to catch a glimpse of your sheer magnitude.
I am your leech, your parasite.
No better than a bottom feeder.
Famished and fatigued, I crawl along the walls of your skull.
You are my cure for intellectual stimulation deprivation.
Off your deepest thoughts and darkest desires, I feed.
This thirst is a gluttonous one.
Longing to consume every inch of your mental capacity.
Lusting after what it is that makes you him.
…How it is you sincerely feel,
Why it is you think as you do...
Never distended, never sated...always craving more.
Inside your mind, through breath and blood, blissfully I could exist and expire.
To deem the surreal is, shown true, my only means of being within you. 

Me Vs. Me

So close. Always so close....to getting away....letting go....forgetting. Sucked back in like a black hole....there is no escape. Strong will....he steals. A game of lust and loathing....it's a mind trip. Step carefully....I tell myself....can't slip. Put to death all emotions before they grow....keep the heart cold. Keep in mind....he'll break you down....if you stick around. Admit it....he means more to you. More than you wish him to....than you claim him to be. Your skin may be thick like leather....but inside you are lace. Why set yourself up for failure....disappointment.....heartache? All is true....but I told you...I can't....I can't escape. Something....somehow....always drags me back into his embrace. My mind is intact....I'll be fine....don't worry....just get off my back. Your mind may be tactful dear....but just remember....the brain has no voice when the heart speaks. My apologies....for being so harsh...so bold. For....I wish not to upset you. But my dear....you are falling....falling in love....with the devil....and my god....he will consume your soul.