Vivid Emotions

Suddenly from somewhere out of the blue,
I realized everything I have ever wanted...is you.

Something in your eyes threw my heart into captivity.
Your gorgeous smile made my face light up brilliantly.

Gray thought of you evolved into vivid hues.
These emotions are completely undeniable and true.

My feelings for you keep growing stronger.
I can't handle your dismissal much longer.

Dark chocolate eyes, wish you would look my way.
Ruby stained lips, please ask me to stay. 

Dark Seas

Black loneliness.
Blue sleeplessness.

Drowning in twirling tides of the scarlet sea.
Holding my breath until the turn of an untried tide reaches me.

Biding my time in this solitary storm, until my feet reach the dry desert sands.
I long for days filled with ease to simply fall into my hands.

Over my shoulder, in front of my eyes...there is nowhere left to go.
Remaining steady, exactly where I am...this vicious sea just swallowed me whole. 

You

One thousand and ninety-five days, I lived for you.

Thousands and thousands of tears I cried for you.

At least a million smiles…I smiled because of you.

Emotions I didn't know I was capable of, shined through because of you.

My heart, my soul, my life…I gave to you.

I was indescribably in love with you.

I had to love enough for both myself and you.

Your heart wasn't open…deprived me of equal feelings from you.

Now I am finally over you.

And now I honestly feel what it's like to be loved by you. 

Daddy

A little girl stands, dressed in blue.

Searching for something true.

Still reaching out to you.



Digging through youthful memories

Attempting to find one that puts her heart at ease.

Disappointment is such a disastrous disease.



She finds herself with eyes of rain.

Not one memory of you, that doesn't cause pain.

Only your devious tongue remains.



A young lady now, that has matured tremendously.

For you, she feels only hostility.

Yet, this little girl lives inside of me, still longing for a daddy. 

Perfect Deception

Luxurious lips...
red velvet kisses.
Sensuous hands...
spine tingling caresses.

Hypnotic eyes...
so very profound.
Honey suckle words...
such an astounding sound.

Rare character...
soul-stirring conversations.
Seemingly flawless...
liberation from desolation?

My feelings...
so vast, too fast.
My fingers....
itch to dance with this chance.

My thoughts...
completely consumed by him.
Sedated and jaded...
by this wayward whim.

My feet...
steady themselves beneath me.
I stand dumbfounded...
my eyes...bleary.

Picture of perfection...
too good to be true.
A perfect deception...
I fell for you.

Bonded by Blood

I look in the mirror and despise what I see.
I hate possessing a part of you inside of me.

I taught myself how to ride the bike with two wheels.
Mom taught me the manners of eating meals.

Countless amounts of birthdays and holidays...not a thing from you.
I don't get my hopes up anymore, it's all unfulfilled promises...what's new?

My high school graduation...you weren't even there.
The telephone didn't ring, you didn't care.

One day, you will regret the pain and suffering you put me though.
Someday, you will see that I am the person I am with no thanks to you.

That day will come when someone else walks me down the isle.
Or maybe when you miss the birth of your first grandchild.

Either way, you will regret having no relationship with your own daughter.
I've grown weary of your ways, though bonded by blood, you are not my father. 

2:03 am

I am far beyond terrified....
to love again
to let someone in
to show, share, and devote myself
to fall blindly
to be brokenhearted.

I am far beyond terrified....
to never love again
to never find my someone
to let love pass me by
to never feel pure bliss
to grow old alone. 

Blue Eyes

Last night I picked up the phone to hear your voice on the other end.
Why bother now…our relationship has lost the ability to mend.

Are you starting to feel guilty? Do you want to make things right?
You said, "I'm sorry I missed Christmas sweetie. Things have been a little tight."

You said, "I promise this time I'll make it up to you, you'll see."
When will you see that all I really want is for you love me?

"How old are you now dear?" you ask when you should know.
You had to do it; you could not just leave well enough alone.

Yes father, today is my eighteenth birthday.
"Well the child support and health benefits will be ceased," you say.

Selfish man, you care nothing about me.
You love only yourself and your petty money.

Why bother? Why waste your time?
Always feeding me some bullshit line.

The tears wash the brown away...
What a way to say happy birthday.

Grandpa

I catch a glimpse of your beautiful smile, so kind.
I gaze into your omniscient eyes.
Your aged hands brush the hair from my face,
and welcome me with a gentle embrace.
The sent of your cologne fills the room,
bringing back every single memory I have of you.
With melancholy lips and misty eyes,
in my ear you whisper goodbye.
Wait grandpa! ...I love you! ...Please don't go.
I'm begging you, please, don't leave me here alone!
Come back! ...I miss you! ...I need you here by my side!
Why!? Why did you have to say goodbye!?


I awake in a bed full of tears.
It was all a dream; you've been gone for years.


(1913-1997)
R.I.P

Irretrievable Love

In the solitude of sunless days, I swear your voice still falls upon my ears.
Your image burns endlessly in my mind.
At times, I am left sleepless, drowning myself in memories of what used to be.
In my dreams, thoughts of you float, night after night.
Many times, I awake in excitement and anticipation to see your face...feel your touch.
As my mind slips back into reality and my heart calms, I see that I am without you.
I look around only to find myself in an empty bed of loneliness.

My life, my love for so long...gone...gone.

By choice, I sent you away, then why do I miss you so?
Why do I feel there to be a void in my soul, a vacancy in my heart?
Almost perfect you were my love, no one quite like you have I ever met.
Forever it seems, we held on tight, fighting to save our love.
Yet, my deceitful ways and your domination over me sabotaged it.
I miss you deeply darling and you will always be in my heart, but never again can our hearts be together.

Mother

Up late again mom?
Can’t sleep?
What troubles you?
Weight of your dilemmas to heavy?
Seeing yourself fall into financial ruin once again?

It’s not your fault.
You were swindled twice; daddy and the ex.
Everything will be okay.
This guy is great and he loves you.
We’ve been through worse, things will get better again.

Worried about me?
Think you failed?
Feel you can’t support me well enough?
Concerned about my future?
Don’t want me to follow in your footsteps?

Don’t worry mom, I’ll be just fine.
You have never failed me.
You have always done your best.
I don’t despise you, I admire you.
I love you.

When Darkness Descends

Skies of the deepest blue.
Gleaming stars shine through.

Whispers linger in the twilight.
Reality vanishes out of sight.

Fancy-free reveries come with nightfall.
Daytime burdens fade for all.

Sunrise lightens the colors of blue.
The sky shows every shade of every hue.

Fantasies end with the dawn of the sun.
Another troublesome day has just begun.

My Little Secret

Secretly, I’m intrigued by you.
I’m burning with curiosity.
I scrutinize your every move.
I crave you.
I long to indulge myself in you.
I need to unlock the mystery.
Alone.

Secretly, I want to be with you.
I’m eager to hold you, kiss you, adore you.
I’m itching to feel your touch.
I hope to trust you.
I want to show myself to you.
I anticipate sharing my dreams with you.
Alone still.

Shades of Blue

Somber eyes.

Sinking souls.

Malicious lies. 

Faint complexions.

Dark words.

Feelings of disconsolation. 

Shattered cores.

Secluded thoughts.

Hidden doors. 

Desolate sensations.

Doubting individuality.

Yearning for admiration.

Live

Enjoy each moment.
Live your life to it’s fullest.
Make your dreams come true.

Lexi Bailey

Another day, another black eye.
This time the bruise is too intense to hide.
He comes into my room late at night.
We both know his actions are not right.
He covers my mouth and pins me down.
I cry out for help, but no one is around.
My blood runs cold as he defiles my body.
This continual torture fills me with
…lowliness…rage…agony.

Daddy, why must you do this to me?
I have never done anything to deserve such humility.
How am I supposed to face everyone at school?
What do I say when they question my face being black and blue?
I’ll just tell another wild story to cure their concern.
This secret will live…isolated inside me…and I’ll let it burn.

Tyler Rayze

It’s hard being the new guy.
So quiet, yet so much to say.

Hiding behind this demure mask.
All strangers to me in this renovated existence.

Refusing to look beyond the surface,
into my calloused soul.

Underestimating my intelligence.
Ignoring my unique talents.

Overlooking my kind heart.
Disregarding my friendship,

I want to be me.
Please get to know me…please.